Muhasabah 2009

It is too tempting not to post a blog on 1.1.2010. ;)
Would like to begin with the fact that 2009 has been a whirlwind kind of year.
Everything went past so quickly. Ever so fast. Here's a few quick retakes:


Professionally, I learnt that I am a better follower than I was a leader. I think. I certainly felt calmer, more at ease and could focused more on my students. I think I gave my all this year, and enjoying every minute of it! I was always looking forward to being with them, always thinking of how best to make them understand. I hope they have enjoyed their learning moments too. ;) And, may Allah not only bless all the teachers and my efforts, but the efforts of the students too and help make their prayers and their parents' prayers for their success come true. Amin, ya Rabb.


As a parent, I am feeling the 'euphoria' of being a mother to children of almost all major stages of development - Halim and Hadi (the emergent adult), Hafiz the tumultuous teenager, Haziq the 'infuriatingly matured but still babyish' 9 year old, and of course Nina, at two and a half - always, always, testing my patience and always, always charmed me back as well...At the end of the day, when they all lay sleeping, I thanked Allah for blessing me with 'good' children, alhamdulillah. May Allah guide them always on His right path and give them happiness and blessings, dunia and akhirat. Amin.
Being a mother has its perks, though. Halim has at times, been mistaken for my husband! Especially when he is carrying Nina and I came into the picture - somehow, people cannot fit it in their minds that I can have both a grownup son and a little toddler as children! The first time it happened was at a vegetable stall and I remember looking incredulously at the stallowner and thinking rudely, "Buta ke?!!" (Is he blind or what???) When it happened again I was in serious questioning of myself - did I dress not right for my age? Did I behave not right for my age? Nothing, however, beat what happened at Jusco just last month. This young salesgirl looked up at Halim and said confidently, "This is your boyfriend, right?" BOYFRIEND??? You should see how red Halim was - he was red all the way to his ears!!! Oh well...I am sure 'age' will catch up with me pretty soon, so better not trouble trouble before it troubles you...In the meantime - Halim is seriously thinking of wearing a T-shirt that says-This is my mother!
Personally, will remain personal, thank you. :) However, there was something that happened which so completely overwhelmed and overturned what I believed I was like and showed to me how fragile I was as a human. It made me happy most times, confused sometimes, sad at times...it was maddening. One good thing which came out of it was that I felt only Allah would understand and He thus became my confidante....
Oh! I finally finished writing a book! It started as a sort of a journey down memory lane, but somehow, along the way, the characters took on a life of their own and the present got entertwined with the past. I think I will share the story here in this blog. :) More importantly, to The Writer, Lino, Nabmo and Insyirah - keep on writing, alright? If I can do it at this age, you people surely could do better! I started writing stories at about the same age as you people - so keep writing and don't ever give up! Wouldn't it be just great to see your name in print someday?
There is more pleasure in giving than receiving. Oh! The grateful and surprised smiles from the receiver is enough good memories for a lifetime!
Many, many more.
All of which, I hope, has made me a better Muslimah. Amin.