The Courage to Teach ...... and change

Robert Palmer once wrote in his book 'The Courage to Teach', that teachers are a courageous lot because their 'work' entails more than teaching. For teachers, in teaching, risked themselves in the process - an effective teacher teaches with passion, with soul. In doing so, he exposes himself to a whole gamut of feelings - disappointment, sadness, joy: you name it as he goes on a roller coaster ride with his students.

I lost that courage earlier this year.

I had just wanted to teach - sans passion, sans soul.

I had wanted to immune myself to the pain of separation, to the worries of caring, to the pining of lost voices and laughters - lost faces.

It didn't work.

It didn't work because Fate was mocking me when I was given a whole bunch of ladies to take care of as my Form Class. Giggly, wide-eyed, hopeful ladies who reminded me every minute of THOSE girls....

It couldn't work because when I didn't want to teach Art, Allah gave me not one, but TWELVE students who approached my help. I couldn't turn them down.

It actually stopped working when these people kept smiling at my face, when these people kept laughing at my lame jokes, when we laughed together at some jokers in the class, at an honest grammatical mistake, which seemed hilarious at that moment. It didn't work too when I heard the sniffles and saw the suppressed tears at the end of 'Song of Gaza.'

Immunity didn't work. The immunity caved in, and passion and soul flooded back in. In giving, I found myself back.

Life, I realised, in its full beauty, is a cycle. A cycle of change. A wondrous cycle of birth, development, fulfillment of your capacities, and the wisdom of age. The trick is to go through that cycle becoming stronger and a better human who is closer to your Creator, so that with wisdom, comes acceptance of a higher Power who always watches, always guides, and always there. For you.Always. I hope I have grown stronger and closer.

So, if we love something, or somebody, ;) - let that love change us to be better.
If you love Irsyad, keep the memories neatly and tightly in there. Nobody can take that away from you. Then change that love, those memories, into a tsunami that propels you further to greater heights. We will always pray for your success down here. We always do.

Welcome back, Mdm B!

(but 'first loves' will always be remembered and remain unforgotten...*wink*)