Cerita Cinta II

Let's talk about friendship.

Good friends are difficult to come by now. And I meant 'good' friends whom you can not only have 'good' times together, but more importantly, 'good' friends who enjoined you to do good and be good - amr' makruf, nahi mungkar.

Alhamdulillah, I had VERY good friends at a time when I needed that guidance most.

When I was in college, and that was a LONG time ago, the wearing of hijab was not only uncommon here, it was looked upon as a step back to some uncultured, barbaric practice. Those who put on hijab have to put up with names like 'kuno' (ancient) and for those who still remember, 'hantu kum kum' (a pun on the salam these people normally give to fellow Muslims).

But my friends were steadfast.

In college, they dared to be different.

Three of them put on the head-cap (serkup), lengthened their skirts and wore long-sleeved blouses to college. Imagine!

When they got into trouble with the college's management, they appealed their case all the way up to the Mufti Office and to the MP.

Suffice to say that, alhamdulillah, the college tolerated them and by Allah's help, they covered their aurah until they completed their college education.

Another friend, who was a Student Counselor, would go to college covering her aurah, put on the school's uniform during school hours, and would change back into her Islamic attire before stepping out of the college's compound.

Such were the friends I had. Alhamdulillah.

We had regular usrahs at the janitor's quarters - a smiling lady who welcomed the company of these giggly girls.

I was, and am still proud, of being a Malay. I was very much into Malay culture then- dikir barat, tarian, in awe with the concept of Malay Sultanate, in 'love' with Hang Jebat, hikayats (legends) - you name it. The regular Malay schoolgirl.

Until one of my usrah friend gently pulled me aside and said I should stop 'tarian'.

I remember feeling angry, saying something like Malay tarian wasn't as provocative as disco dancing.

I remember her smiling, still in a gentle tone, asking me only this:

'Sis, which is more attractive to boys- the unruly steps of the Solid Gold dancers, or the gentle movements of the Malay dance?'

I was stumped. Logically, she was right. That was my last performance.

I was 17 when I wore the hijab for the first time. Though I am very close to my mother, she won't speak to me for the whole day. I don't blame her. She didn't understand. Not like now. :)

My friends hugged me. They were my strength.

What if the strength they have given me was something that could lead to self-destruction? Or to me becoming a nuisance to society?

Bottomline is, stick with friends who remind us to be good. They are brave enough to criticise our wrongdoings and sensitive enough to notice that their friend needed help on the spiritual side. Friends like these are difficult to come by. They are like pearls (lu'luah) hidden, precious... stay with them when you do find them, or when they found you - don't ever let them go!

I am most happy when my sons want to meet up with their madrasah friends - over lunch or for a simple soccer match. Thank you to all their friends who have been the guides in my children's lives...you and I know who you are! Jazakumullahu khairan kathiran...

You might say that some madrasah people are worst than others you know.

Tsk, tsk...

There is a a sufi saying that when a wise man goes astray, await for his return.
Better still, remind him to return - remind him patiently, tactfully and with perseverence. :)

Pak Hamka once said that the person without knowledge will be a better person with knowledge, and the person with knowledge would have been worst without the knowledge.

Knowledge can never be wrong. It is how you use, or don't use it that matters.

Bottomline is, nobody can deny that at those teenage, young adult age, your friends really matters to you. Later, when you reach adulthood, marry and have children, your parents would then become your significant others again. The law of nature, or karma, or 'hukum alam', call it whatever you like - that is how things normally go. ;)

So, have good, lifelong friends.
Friends whom we love and who love us because of Allah.
Friends that would lead us all to Allah's blessings, insyaAllah.