Hangover. Major.
I had prayed that I will be sane and retain all my thinking and speaking faculties on this day. I wanted to be able to say what I wanted to say to these students. Alhamdulillah I did.
But it wasn't easy.
Thursday. I thought it was easy to say thank you, to say sorry and then to leave a few last words. It wasn't. Thanks for being patient and bearing with me..those were verry difficult ten or fifteen minutes of my teaching life...
Then that dear guy had to sing THAT song..and well, it rained..It's not easy to be seeing red eyes and red faces trying very hard not to have red eyes...It's not easy to see 'naughty', grinning faces turning sobre and wishful...it wasn't...
Friday. The rain fell all the way from JB. It's a surprise we didn't have any mishaps along the way. Thank you Allah...Usually, at the last singing of the school song, there'll be sadness..the dear lady beside me was already touched..but I wasn't. Really. In fact, the rain would not fall at all, and I was going through my lessons and meeting everybody with smiles. I then began to wonder and really worried whether there was something wrong with me...I felt nothing. Just a dullness inside.
After solat, the thinker came to see me. As I read, something happened, something burst...
And the floodgates opened....
It was pretty bad because Mdm Faezah was asking me whether I was okay and I just nodded my head. Then the guys came with my report card and a lot of other things happened...
It wasn't easy.
It wasn't easy to let go of a part of your life that was meaningful. Yes, we will meet again, insyaAllah, but it will be different. When my children leaves the home, I know they'll always come back again. But when my students leave the school.... Then it struck me that I have not followed my own maxim...kan Allah ada.. And because of this, I pray for your success, dunia and akhirat..may we meet and depart because of Allah, because of our love for HIM...
Doa rabitah buat anak-anak S509...
Let's celebrate your coming of age, let's now put our faces, hearts, minds forward for the bigger task of the 'O' levels. Keep true to your promises.....Perjuangan belum berakhir... :)
Till we meet again, insyaAllah... i miss you people lots..
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