Kata pujangga

 Untuk renungan bersama......

Kata pujangga
perempuan bagaikan angin
lembutnya melenakan
ributnya menggusarkan.

Adakalanya mereka seperti ibu
menyaji kasih, menghidang sayang
adakalanya mereka seperti anak
ingin dibelai, minta dimanjakan
adakalanya mereka seperti nenek
berleter seadanya, merungut semahuannya.

Namun,
merekalah insan yang terhampir
teman kembara dalam kehidupan yang sementara ini.
bahagia dan derita kita sangat berkait dengan mereka.

( i )

Psst....
Tiba-tiba isteri merajuk
pandai-pandailah memujuk
buka telinga, tajamkan pendengaran,amati suaranya
teliti dengan hati yang terseni
rasional atau emosi ?
andainya emosi, belailah emosi itu
jangan cuba dihadapkan secara rasional
kerana sidia tak akan terdaya
mengunyah hujah,berilah walau seribu sebab
lengkap dengan perangkaan statistik
atau dokumen saintifik
berserta dengan beberapa affidavit
dia tetap melulu kerana fikiran sudah berjerebu.

Dalam situasi ini
fikiran telah ditawan perasaan
sebaiknya, perhaluskan kata, perindahkan bahasa
jinakkan perasaan, hadiahkan senyuman.

Masih gagal ?
cuba gunakan sentuhan
semarakkan belaian.

Masih gagal juga ?
Tunggu saja rajuknya reda
emosi isteri
bagai riak-riak air dalam cawan
jangan digoncang...... buat selamba
lambat laun, gelombang akan tenang
air dicawan akan kita minum jua.

Tapi awas.....
kalau ternyata, rajuknya berfakta
masamnya berdata, geramnya berilmiah
marahnya ada prima facie
ini rajuk taraf tinggi namanya
perlu ditangani berhati-hati
kalau ternyata benar,apa salahnya kita terima
mengaku lalu berjanji serta berikrar
" Sayang abang tak ulang lagi "
katakan " Sayang....abang alpa "
bisikkan " Darling.. I lupa.."
hulurkan tangan, pinta kemaafan
pendekatan kasanova, tapi hati suci

Rajuk isteri seperti mangga muda
perisanya masam
tetapi...
kalau kena cicahnya
enaknya akan terasa.
ingat, api yang panas, padam oleh salji yang dingin.

( ii )

Arghh...
tiba-tiba isteri merungut
malah kadangkala agak mengugut
minta aksesori serta perabut
minta Villa yang tersergam indah
atau mahligai di lereng bukit
sedangkan kita bukan Shah Jehan
yang mampu membina Taj Mahal buat isterinya
tetapi isteri pula, persis Nur Jehan
yang meminta petanda keagungan cintanya
Katanya " Seabadi permata....
segermelapan intan " ...
sedangkan ditangan kita
cuma cincin tembaga.

Aduh...
peritnya mengukur cinta
dalam ukuran mayam atau menimbang setia
menerusi Bursa Saham papan utama
kasih isteri, turun naik
mengikut kadar tukaran wang asing.

Tiada guna menyesali diri
diakan dulu pilihan kita ?
semasa mekarnya
dia dihargai, dipuja-puji
dia kini sudah menjadi ibu
pada anak-anak kita
sudah takdir...
permata yang dipilih
perlu digilap semula.

Namun
putus asa jangan sekali
terimalah dia, dengan redha.
justeru isteri
pada hakikatnya
adalah bayang-bayang suami
wanita adalah tulang rusuk yang bengkok
luruskan dengan berhati-hati bertegas tapi jangan berkeras
lembut tapi jangan reput.

Katakan $ bukan segala-galanya
lalu pada saat yang kudus
setelah bersolat bersama
bisikkanlah " Duhai isteriku...
marilah kita bina perkahwinan ini
dengan cinta yang sejati
marilah kita kutip rezeki
dengan keringat tersuci
kita cari harta, tetapi itu bukan segala-galanya
padamu isteri,istanamu, di hati ini
padamu sayang
kalung cintamu, di jiwa ini."

( iii )

Puuuh...
Akan tiba masanya bila 'isteri' di hati tapi kurang di mata
usia meningkat kecantikan tergugat
dulu yang kita lihat mulus kini beransur pupus
betis, tidak lagi bunting padi
pipi, bukan lagi pauh dilayang
apakah dengan itu akan berkurang cinta kita ?
jika berkurang, nyatalah cinta kita
selama ini cinta di mata bertapak di body
tapi jika cinta tetap kekal malah semakin bertambah
ertinya cinta kita di hati, berpasak di budi.
itulah cinta sejati.

Namun tidak salah
di samping menyanjung budi,
kita merampingkan 'body'
kalau ada kesempatan
ajaklah dia bersenam, amalkan puasa sunat
tapi ingat niat kerana Tuhan
bukan kerana ingin kuruskan badan
tapi Tuhan Maha Penyayang
Dia pasti membantu isteri yang memburu keredhaan suami
tak salah kalau mohon kesihatan, kecantikan dan kecergasan
sama-samalah merampinkan badan
yang terlebih dikurangkan
jangan sesekali mencemuh apalagi menjauh
apa gunanya membandingkan isteri dengan perawan.

Bukan masanya lagi merenung dara
tapi kini saat menghitung dosa
lalu ajaklah isteri sama-sama menambah bakti
moga-moga cinta kita kekal ke hujung usia
di dunia ini dan di akhirat nanti
itulah yang dikatakan
hidup berdua, 'selepas' mati pun bersama.

( iv )

Uhhh....
Kekadang isteri mengamuk
dengan ombak prasangka dan taufan cemburu

Apa bukti setiamu suami ?
Apakah tandanya hanya aku di hatimu ?
kekadang disergahnya kita
ketika keringat masih membasah
baru menjengah pintu rumah.

Ketika itu nilailah diri
mungkin kita berdosa dengan Tuhan
atau bersalah dengan insan
mungkin banyak kezaliman dan penganiayaan
yang telah kita lakukan

Lalu datang teguran, amaran dan peringatan
secara 'indirect' dari Tuhan
hadapkanlah diri ke cermin hati
kaji diri satu persatu
kalau liar, berhentilah
kalau berdosa, bertaubatlah

Sebaliknya jika ternyata isteri yang melulu
nasihatkanlah baik-baik
bukan senang nak senang
ingatlah mustika kata dalam kitab-kitab tua
suami yang bersabar dengan isteri yang jahat
akan mendapat pahala Nabi Ayub
atau ingatlah pesan Sayidina Umar al-Khattab
ketika didatangi seorang suami yang dileteri isteri :

"Bersabarlah, kerana sesungguhnya isteri telah banyak
membantu kita. Dia yang menyelamatkan kita daripada
amukan nafsu.
Dia yang membantu menjaga makan minum kita.
Dia yang mencuci kain baju kita
Dia yang membantu membersihkan rumah kita...
lalu apa salahnya kita bersabar dengan sedikit kerenahnya ? "

( v )

Marilah sama-sama kita tabur secubit salji pada segenggam api.
Telah banyak kita dengar cerita keruntuhan, kisah perpisahan.
Marilah kita suburkan kembali pohon perkahwinan ini
walaupun sudah berdekad-dekad usianya.

Institusi ini adalah kubu terakhir kita.
Marilah kita pertahankan bersama si dia.
si diaku, si diamu
cinta kita jangan mati dalam arus dunia siber,
biar setia kita makin waja.
Biarlah skrin-skrin internet atau intranet memaparkan
yang indah-indah pantulan seri rumah tangga kita.

Bicara ini diakhiri dengan satu coretan
yang mungkin boleh diguriskan pada kad hari lahir isteri
atau kad ulang tahun perkahwinan
atau surat biru yang ingin kau utuskan padanya...

Atau kau pahatkan saja di halaman hatimu
pada malam nanti :

Aku hanya seorang suami
yang menerima setulus hati
seorang isteri.
Janji yang termeterai
di akad nikah kita musim yang lalu.
Salam kuhulur
buat menyapa hatimu nan luhur.
Bersamalah kita harungi
derita yang datang.
Bersatulah kita tempuhi
nikmat yang bertandang.
Denai perkahwinan
pasti dihujani air mata.
Biar kita rasa: rupanya syurga itu
sangat tinggi maharnya.

Isteri...
tidak kutagih setia, sesetia Hawa.
Atau kerinduan menggila Laila
yang sangat dalam.
Terimalah kehadiranku
di sudut tersuci di dalam hatimu.....
seorang isteri.







 

Tears

Much tears shed
Much tears shared
If the shed and the shared
Are kaffarah for my sins -
Ya Rabb!
Grant me the softness of heart
For tears shed
Grant me the strength and wisdom
For tears shared
And let not me be among those who are deaf, dumb and blind.
Aameeen.

Hiatus

Not that i have stopped writing-
What i don't care to write about are mundane, meaningless happenings,
What i do care to write on are oft times - too complicated, too close to the heart, too close to TRUTH
I rather let be seen whats supposed to be seen -
And leave the unseen, unspoken - to the One who Sees everything...
Allahu Hafeez...

Before you marry, son

You have all most probably heard the touching advice the mother gave to her daughter just before her wedding day. But have you heard of the advice of the mother given to her son? Happened to come across this - so here goes:

My son,
Choose a wife, if you must, for her beauty
For that beauty will make you always want to see her
Will make you proud as you parade her before others
Marry her for her beauty, if that's what you want

My son,
Choose a wife, if you must, for her status
For that status will make you strong in the eyes of others
Will open up doors to earthly pleasures and powers
Marry her for her status, if that's what you want

My son,
Choose a wife, if you must, for the Faith that is in her,
For her fear in Allah will fill your house
with rememberance of the Almighty
For her patience because of Allah
will make her a tireless servant in the house
For her acceptance in Allah's Will
will make her have you in her mind and soul
will make her puts you above all the rest
always

an oasis of peace-
a well of wisdom for your progeny-
She might not be a Beauty
nor a Somebody
but her face will calm you in times of anger
her Iman will elevate you in times of distress
her sense of responsibility will make her try
to be the best mother possible
For your wife might not go to heaven because of you
But YOU will not go there too because of your children

So, should all beauty, status and even love be gone -
at least there's that face that will calm you
at least the laughter will soothe your jittery nerves
at least the smile will make all things seem right and bright
at least her brains will help you see things clearer and better
at least her Iman will lead your children and you to happiness
in this life and the next

Choose a wife such as her, then
if that's what you want

Meander

Not Asiyah

Not Zulaikha

Nor Yusuf

Certainly not Firaun

Just two rivers

meandering

Gloriously going

two separate ways

two separate paths

under the same skies

under the same sun

La' sekufu

Emotional Roller Coaster

Last Friday, 8th April was an emotional roller coaster for me. It had been a most gruelling 'emotional' two weeks before that - what with a major offence on top priority - meeting parents, meeting siblings - trying not to be too affected by it, when in all seriousness and sincerity, I just wished I wasn't one of them to handle such cases. Worst, I teach this child and it was not easy to stay cool in class and went on with lessons. It wasn't. But, alhamdulillah, the isolation week for him went on fine and I think that it was the most impactful isolation period we ever had. But that Friday was like the finale of it all. In the morning, caught a S5 girl in the lift still listening to her phone. It wasn't like I was purposely looking for anything amiss - but hey, her earphones were sticking out visibly from her tudung. Very disappointed as the students were just reminded of this rule the day before. Contact time for students were filled with a briefing on minor and major offences by LCs in the Auditorium. Before that, in class, we had our usual public speaking for the pupils in preparation for their MYE Oral Exams. One of the girls, stood up and said calmly that she wanted to help her parents financially when she graduated. Then, she did the unthinkable - she covered her face and cried. Just like that. She was a jovial girl, always the smiley one and the responsive one in class. Her reaction took me completely by surprise and I felt so guilty. Because I knew her father. I knew how hard he tried to make it for the family. I just felt guilty and that is between me and Allah. I was touched- deeply touched. Then the auditorium briefing, which went okay, I think, but then again, those who know me would know how much I feel uncomfortable talking to a huge crowd like that. I could feel my face going red at times. After solat Jumaat, I had to hurry up to the eighth floor to talk to a S4 class regarding class punishment. Along the staircase, at Level 7, as Allah would will it, I found a note written by a girl to a boy. Hmmm..not good. Not good at all. At the S4 class, Ustazah Rabiah was with me. I started okay, I guess, but as I spoke, I don't know, guess things overwhelmed me and yah..I almost lose it in the class and managed a quick salam before I moved out and yah...it was bad. Luckily, I was alone in the lift and went straight to the toilet to wash my face and to calm down. It's not easy being someone in the discipline field. It is an amanah that must be fulfilled to the best, and may Allah forgive me for all my miscalculations and misreading of the cases. Alhamdulillah, we practised syurah and that really make decision making easier and less influenced by personal agendas. There are of course most fulfilling times when you see a flicker of understanding in the eyes of the pupils that you speak to, their sense of regret and desire to be a better person after you talk to them. These are small/meagre compensations for the sleepless nights and endless worries, but these are the things that I guess keep us going, knowing and hoping that what we do and say today, has help at least one soul out there to have a brighter future. InsyaAllah and Ameen! :)

And Jane said, "Enough."

The other day, we were doing work in class when a student came up to me to ask some questions, which was normal enough. What was abnormal was that her eyes were red, and she punctuated every sentence with tears. Hmm..very abnormal. Indeed. We came to a point where I was like 'Okay, that's it...need to get to the bottom of this.' So I pulled her out of the class and thought about my questions - tears like those to a girl her age can mean many things - a broken heart (but she looked the down to earth sort of girl who would not dabble in BGR), school stress (but she is an intelligent girl), friendship stress (but she is well-liked by her peers)...so I decided to go for the jugular vein - "Are your parents quarelling?" BINGO. The tears flowed and she was sobbing then...

It never amazes me everytime I heard this from my students. My parents are quarelling. My parents are separating. My parents hate each other. My parents are divorcing - blah, blah, blah... Dear parents, please stop asking your poor children to take sides - they are also humans with feelings, and worst still, if they are older, they are at the age where they feel the pain more. They do. They'll feel betrayed that at the age where they should be feeling the first sweet pangs of crushes and puppy love, you had to bring them down to earth and make them see the ugly side of marital life. Not fair. Not fair indeed. And very selfish. Dear parents, get this - your life, as you have known it - is 'over'. Give your kids a break and let them LIVE. They deserve all the hopes of a better life. You have got yours. It's payback time - help, guide your child to look upon the world with eyes of compassion, with hearts full of hopes to better this world and live theirs to the fullest. You owe that much to them. You're their parents. They see this world because Allah has chosen you to bring them forth. LIVE for them. And if really life is unbearable to be with the significant other - that you'll rather have the physical abuse, the bruises and broken bones, rather than suffer the mental abuse of feeling you're the lousiest of the lousiest, the most idiotic of all idiots -then have the courtesy, rational mind and unselfishness to leave the kids alone - settle your differences like real adults and don't make them choose or feel guilty or worst, feel like they are responsible for the mess you have created. Please. Let them live...really live.

And child, - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! It never was. How could it be your fault? So don't bear it too hard on yourselves, alright? Stay focused on your business at hand - which should be to study and get the best results - for that is your future. You deserve it - that bright future. Go for it. And if your parents are not there beside you, then I pray that Allah will give you good friends who will guide you towards goodness, towards being closer to HIM. And dear students, you have the most powerful weapon ever - doa. Prayers. Sholat. If your parents have failed you, if your friends desert you at the most direst times - then please believe that Allah never will. EVER. He is always there by your side - even closer than your jugular vein.

So hold your head high and persevere to do good and be good. And may Allah be with you all the way - which HE will - if you let HIM to... Ameen.

And if anybody should ask me what do i know about marital problems, mental abuse and broken dreams, then I will look them in the eye and give them a classic Patrick Jane's answer:

"Enough."