All Praises and gratitude be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds and prayers and blessings be upon Prophet Muhammad s.a.w., to his family, his companions and all those who follow him.
Alhamdulillah, my husband and myself are safely back in JB on Saturday, 27th November. The eight hours flight home was most uneventful and I could not sleep out of sheer anxiousness and excitement to meet my children and family. Thirty minutes to landing, after the pilot announced that the landing process was commencing, I thought the air suddenly became still - as though the engines have been switched off. The feeling then was that the plane was gliding - and I could feel pressure up my ears. At that moment, my husband who was asleep, woke up and true enough, he wondered aloud why it was quiet and the plane felt like not moving. When the pressure seemed unbeareable, the engines started again, and cool air flowed in. The landing was smooth, but the change in air pressure was too much for some - one old lady exclaimed she had a terrible headache, a few were cupping their ears and i was furiously chewing Strepsils. When i finally saw my father, then Nina, then Halim, Hadi, Hafiz and Haziq, my mother, sis and her husband, i broke down.Alhamdulillah! Allah has protected my family and has reunited us after 44 days.(Halim told me later that he had just learned what I experienced just now is a procedure followed by a pilot when he wanted to lose the plane's height quickly - ie. switched off all engines and truly let the plane 'glide' down...)
The whole hajj experience has been truly most inspiring and unforgettable. It is not easily describable either, but I want to try and share that experience for I want to give glad tidings for those who are despairing, that Allah's Will overcome everything else and nothing happens without that Will and since He is Most Merciful and Beneficient, then everything that happened to us is everything that we need.
You see, i was a reluctant hujjaz. I never took seriously my husband's announcement that we were going for hajj this year. I worried over who would look after the children, especially Nina. I worried on where to look for a temporary maid. I worried about my dear S5C girls and my Art students. I worried about my S4 and S2 papers. In short, I worried over my worldly affairs. I never really could concentrate 100% when we went for the hajj course at the mosque every Sunday - Nina would sit quietly for like ten minutes, then I have to cater to her tantrums for the next one hour or so. It was my husband who went out of his way - calling his contacts in JB and KL to ensure that I could go with him. When we finally surrendered my passport (on the fourth day of Hari Raya) it dawned on me that I was lacking and unsure of the rites of hajj. So i went on a self-study streak. Ustazah Muayanah was my point of reference and dear Cikgu Zul opened up a 'talian haji' - he was most helpful in giving me a crash course on hajj. EVen then, I was holding on to TH's letter that my flight would be the last one, on 10.11.2010. For one whole week, I couldn't enter JB because I had no passport. On Wednesday, 14th November, I was to get my temporary passport. The 'bomb' was dropped at about 11.00 a.m. - my husband called to say that our flight was Thursday, 15th November at 7.30 am. via SEnai Airport. Less than 24 hrs notice! It was madness - but true. Frantically passing to dear Mr Esmadi my papers, quick goodbyes and bewildered looks from my colleagues - Cikgu Zul again was most comforting.Ms Amnah and the rest of the Management team was most reassuring. I am deeply touched and forever indebted to them. Furious smses to my girls and Ammar. Allah help them all in their exams. I went straight to get my temporary passport - still calling up TH to try and delay my flight. No can do. If i missed the flight, I woud have to pay RM$4,000 as compensation. I am ashamed to say that I actually toyed with the idea of paying up...astargfirullah...
Back in JB, I had little time to think - just act. There were the clothes to pack, instructions for Halim who will be the leader in the family now - it was about 3.00 amthat I fell asleep and was up by 5.00 am. My feelings were numbed and I was going through the motion zombie-like. When I finally checked-in, waving at my family, I saw Nina smiling. I was relieved. A miracle she was not crying. I did not turn back. Point of no return.
When I collected my passport and my boarding pass, I found out my husband's passport was missing! TH officers frantically searched and apologetically declared that his passport was in KL! Believe it or not, we missed our flight to Jeddah. The only two would-be pilgrims left behind. Our plane took off and we were at Starbucks, SEnai Airport, awaiting our fate. I remembered my reluctance and I immediately felt deep remorse and begged for Allah to forgive me. HE was testing me, I know, testing my sincerity and the immediacy of HIS Will left me a sense of awe. I prayed fervently for HIS mercy, not anger. By noon, TH officers announced that they were going to send us to KL - on a flight fully paid by them. So we took a flight to KLIA, from there to Kelana Jaya (TH KL's HQ), then back to KLIA for a flight at 1.20 a.m.
I gave thanks to Allah fervently. We landed at Madinah! So, Cikgu Zul, we actually 'missed' the chaotic conditions in Jeddah (the long wait, the dirty toilets as told by my roommates, not to mention the 8 hr bus journey from Jeddah to Madinah) - Allahu Akbar! Allahu Hafiz! We are but HIS servants...
(When I did my first tawaf at the Mataaf, gazing at HIS HOUSE, i cried copiously, fully aware, feeling very, very small - that I was there because HE wanted me to be there - HE knew that if given more time, I would be looking for excuses to delay my flight - so HE PLUCKED me from my comfort zone - to be HIS guest...and I regretted my selfishness...Allah has blessed me 45 years of beautiful life - and I could not even sacrificed 44 days - a day out of every year that HE has given me - to be with HIM, to remember HIM, to be HIS true servant..Ya Allah! Ya Allah! Ya Allah! Labbaikallah humma labbaik! ....)
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